Mother Envy

I *really* envy those women who are lucky enough to have their mums close to them, both geographically and in the relationship. I'm really missing my mum today, for some reason. She is in the US with her new husband and his family. It's not fair! I want her here with her family!!!

We only had about three years together in Perth (I had recently returned from 8 years in Oregon) before she met K and they got married last year. He's lived in Arizona and has kids and grandchildren there so they decided to live there first to obtain mutual visas. The plan (promise?) was to spend winter months on two continents, but unfortunately it's not working out that way. Deep down, I know that I'm really angry at the situation but on the other hand I'm thrilled that she has found happiness again, later in life (after the death of my beloved stepdad a few years ago). But who knows how many more years we are granted and I really, really want us to be together!

It makes me cry sometimes when M does something new, and mum is not here to see it, any of it. It's not about childcare, it's about spending time together. Even now I try to mention Grandma a lot to M so she doesn't forget. Kids grow up so quick and mum is not here to see any of it! She also has a couple more grandchildren here in Perth, and some in Brunei. Yes, we are an international family!

I've decided that, whether she wants it or not, I'll always live within driving distance of Matilda. There's just something very special about the adult to adult relationship you have with your parents that just can't be truly appreciated until you've had children of your own. I only had a little bit of it with mum but it was really special.

Oh and another thought, lately I've met a few daughter-mum pairs who knit/craft together and they are so inspiring! I am fully green with jealousy when I look upon their relationship...

Alright, I'll stop being maudlin now. I've emailed her and hope to hear back soon (hint hint if you're reading this mum!! -- Love you!!)